Have you ever noticed how some days just feel better than others?
Sure, things like the weather, what’s happening in your life, and your relationships all play a role in your mood. But for a long time, I overlooked a key factor-my own self-talk.
Some mornings, I’d wake up feeling light, clear, and like myself. Others? It was like a black cloud had settled over me, or I was just going through the motions. I used to think this was random. Until I realized… the way I talked to myself was shaping how I felt, and I hadn’t even noticed.
That “little voice in my head”? It wasn’t as quiet as I thought. And when I finally paid attention, I saw something powerful — on the days I felt stuck, drained, or doubting myself, my inner voice had set the tone before I even got out of bed. And once I became aware of it, that’s when things started to shift.
The Stories You Tell Yourself
I used to think my self-talk was just “who I was,” but the more I paid attention, the more I realized something: it wasn’t really my voice at all.
A lot of the things I told myself weren’t original thoughts. They were echoes of things I’d heard growing up — things parents, teachers, friends, or even the media had said. Some messages were kind and encouraging. Others? Not so much.
When you hear these messages enough times, they start to stick. Those external voices become part of your internal dialogue, shaping how you see yourself and what you believe you’re capable of.
The tricky part? These old messages can feel like absolute truths. But they’re not. They are just stories you’ve been telling yourself. And stories can be rewritten…
How I Started Changing the Voice in My Head
Once I realized how much of what I was telling myself was holding me back, I started making small shifts. Here’s what helped:
1. Noticing the Voice
The first step was simply paying attention. I made it a habit to pause throughout the day and check in: What am I saying to myself right now? When I made a mistake, I listened. When I looked in the mirror, I listened. When I thought about my goals, I listened. And what I heard? It wasn’t always kind.
2. Creating Distance from My Thoughts
Once I became aware of my self-talk, I reminded myself: Just because I think it doesn’t mean it’s true. I started treating my thoughts like background chatter — some helpful, some not. When something negative popped up, I’d ask myself, Would I say this to a friend? That simple question made a huge difference.
3. Rewriting the Script
When I caught myself in a cycle of self-criticism, I actively chose different words. Instead of “I always mess up,” I told myself, “I’m learning as I go.” Instead of “I’m not good enough,” I reminded myself, “I’m growing every day.” It felt forced at first, but over time, these new thoughts became more natural.
4. Speaking to Myself Like Someone I Love
This one took practice. If I wouldn’t say it to a loved one, I worked on not saying it to myself. Instead of berating myself for mistakes, I practiced self-compassion: “It’s okay. You’re human. You’re doing your best.” This shift helped me feel less stuck in perfectionism and more willing to keep moving forward.
Was this an overnight fix? No. But little by little, my inner voice softened. And the more I shifted it, the more I noticed something incredible -I started believing in myself again.
Why This Matters for Your Second Act
At Second ACT Reset, I talk a lot about reinvention — pressing the reset button on a life that no longer fits. And here’s the thing: True reinvention starts with your inner voice. If you’re constantly telling yourself that change is impossible, that you’re too old, too stuck, or too lost, then those words become your reality.
But if you shift the narrative? If you start saying, “I am capable of change. My past does not define my future. I get to decide who I become”? AND you take micro steps towards your goals, then that becomes your reality.
Your second act begins the moment you decide to make your inner voice your greatest ally instead of your worst critic.
So, what story will you choose to tell yourself today?
