Stop Waiting for Connection — Take the First Step.
Valentine’s Day just passed — a celebration of love and relationships. But for many, it’s a reminder of something missing. Maybe you’ve felt it too — that quiet longing for deeper friendships, a sense of belonging, or simply having people to share life’s ups and downs.
If so, you’re not alone. Connection doesn’t just happen — we have to go first.
This is something Mel Robbins talks about in her bestselling book The Let Them Theory. She calls it the Habit of Going First — not waiting for others to invite or include you, but taking the initiative. As she puts it:
It’s time to stop waiting and start creating — building the best friendships of your life and surrounding yourself with a community that uplifts and supports you. You have so many laughs, memories to make, and incredible adventures in your future. It’s all there waiting for you to reach out and create it. All you have to do is go first.
Her words resonate deeply because connection is my word for 2025. In a post-COVID world, social contact has diminished, life moves too fast, and work and family responsibilities often take priority. But at our core, we are social beings. We need connection — not just for fun, but for our well-being.
I Wish I Had Known This Sooner
Unfortunately, as an introvert and highly sensitive young adult, I found it extremely hard to make friends. I was always very self-conscious, overanalyzing every interaction and fearing how I was perceived. Instead of stepping forward, I often sat back, waiting for others to take the initiative — and when they didn’t, I felt left out and discouraged.
I wish I had been aware of the Let Them Theory back then. I would have been more adventurous, taken more risks, and gone first instead of letting fear hold me back.
I would have let go of trying to control how others saw me and instead focused on simply being myself, showing up authentically, and embracing connection without expectations. I would have learned to go with the flow rather than overthinking every social situation.
But here’s the good news: It’s never too late to change.
And in fact, midlife is the perfect time to focus on building friendships and creating a community.
Why? Because by this stage of life, we know ourselves better, we have more clarity about what we want, and we’re done with surface-level connections. Midlife offers the opportunity to be intentional about the relationships we build — to seek out people who truly align with our values, to deepen the friendships we already have, and to surround ourselves with a community that uplifts and supports us.
Instead of waiting for friendships to happen organically, we can take control of our social lives, one small step at a time.
One Awkward Conversation at a Time
That said, building meaningful friendships doesn’t happen overnight. It takes intentional effort, patience, and sometimes a little discomfort. Mel Robbins puts it perfectly:
One awkward conversation at a time, you will find your people.
So, how do we start? By going first:
Say hello to someone new.
Sign up for a class or a group.
Send a simple text.
Extend an invitation, even if it feels vulnerable.
For those of us who are introverted, this can feel especially daunting. But, like any other skill, connecting is something we can improve over time. The key is to start small and stay consistent.
How I Went First (And How You Can Too)
I know this because I’ve been practicing it myself. Starting a Lean In Circle and launching a NAS.IO community didn’t happen all at once. It started with one idea, one decision, and one action at a time. First, I felt the need for deeper connections. Then, I found a space and then I set a date. Step by step, small actions lead to something bigger.
But you don’t have to start your own group to find connection. If you’re looking for a place to belong, I’d love for you to be part of mine.
Join Me — Let’s Create Connection Together
This year, I started two spaces for women in midlife to connect, learn, and grow together:
🔹 My Lean In Circle — A monthly in-person gathering where women come together, share their journeys, and support each other. Meeting women from different backgrounds reminds me that underneath it all, we face similar challenges.
🔹 My New NAS.IO Community — A free online space where women in midlife can come together to share knowledge, resources, and conversations about all things midlife.
Join the “Let Them Theory” Challenge!
To kick off the new community, I’m inviting you to a free challenge inspired by Mel Robbins’ book, The Let Them Theory. She teaches a simple but powerful mindset shift — “Let Them and Let Me” — that can bring you more peace and freedom.
👉 Sign up for free and be part of the conversation!: Let Them & Let Me Challenge.
If you’ve been waiting for meaningful connections, consider this your sign to go first.
Let’s make this the year we stop waiting and start creating!
